The other day I was listening to the radio. They were talking about the lack of civility in society, and how people were feeling more disconnected and less satisfied. They were talking about Americans’ focus on GDP (Gross Domestic Product), and the need for an alternative measure, like Bhutan’s Gross National Happiness.
They were talking about how people are rude to each other, how people are alienated from each other, etc.
I’m sorry, but when you want to complain about human relations in your society, you don’t get to blame society. You don’t get to blame anyone but yourself, and you don’t get to propose solutions that are anything except, “I will treat my fellow man better”.
When you walk up to the counter at Wendy’s, you have to treat that clerk with respect. You have to look him in the eye, and you have to say please, and you have to say thank you. You have to treat that clerk just like you would want to be treated if you were the one standing behind that counter.
You don’t get to treat that clerk like a piece of cardboard standing between you and your hamburger. You don’t get to say, “The clerk at Best Buy was rude to me a half hour ago, so since everyone else is lowering the standards, I am going to lower them too”.
And yes, when you start treating people well, lots of people are still going to treat you badly. You’re going to have plenty of times when you feel tired and say to yourself, “Why do I have to treat this Wendy’s clerk with respect, no one treats me with respect, I’ll get lazy and be rude to this Wendy’s clerk just this one time”.
Groups don’t change when people stand around and point fingers at each other and say, “I’ll change when he does”. Groups change when people take individual actions.
But you’re not treating people with respect for something in return. You’re doing this for yourself. It will remind you that you have power over yourself, and that there is joy in exercising it.
Like Gandhi said, “You must be the change you want to see in the world.”