She and I didn’t sit next to each other on the plane, but at one point during the flight I saw her standing in the back stretching her legs. I got out of my seat and headed towards the back too. I figured I would need some sort of witty opening line, so I walked a few extra laps through the aisles racking my brain for something to say. I was so focused on coming up with just the right words that I let the opportunity slide by when, as I walked past her on one of my laps, she made eye contact and smiled at me.
I have never been known for being smooth with the ladies, and by the time I thought of something to say she had gone back to her seat. She had been standing in one of my favorite places to stretch my legs on a long trans-Pacific flight though, so I stood in the now-empty spot and kicked myself for missing out on a perfect opportunity.
There were plenty of other passengers that day who knew that that particular spot at the back of a 747 is a great place to stretch one’s legs, so within a few minutes another group had convened in that same area, and I found myself at the center of a party.
Lucky for me the girl came back to join the party, and since I feel more comfortable in a group conversation than in a one-on-one, this time I easily struck up a conversation with her. We only talked for about 10 minutes, but that was enough for me to confirm I was interested in her. Of course, being tone deaf about these sorts of things, I had absolutely no idea whether she was interested in me.
I have learned over the years not to let my tone deafness stand in the way though, so when the plane landed in Hong Kong I made sure she and I deboarded at the same time so we could walk down the ramp together. We chatted as we walked side by side, and at the end of the ramp I turned towards the terminal and she towards her connecting flight to Singapore. We said a friendly goodbye and as I walked away a voice at the back of my head whispered to me, “You need to contact that woman again.”
I didn’t have her phone number. I didn’t have her email address. We hadn’t even made the politest of non-committal plans to stay in touch.
But I listened to that voice. A few weeks later when I got back to the US I looked her up on Google. All I knew from our brief conversation was her first name and the town in California where she lived. That was enough to find her email address. I sent her an email and tried not to sound too much like a stalker. When you haven’t even said, “Let’s keep in touch,” to a stranger though, when she hasn’t even given you her phone number or a business card, how do you not come across as a stalker? So I knew the odds were long.
…
[This is an excerpt from the chapter “No dog, no Turkey” in A Tight Wide-open Space.]